Oh you read that right my friends. My business partner, Kate, has convinced me that now is the time to recommit myself to healthy living. This apparently means that you go on Groupon to purchase a colonic and spend a week in trepedation concerned that your sphincter will never be the same. Upon arrival at Amazing Healing Waters, I was immediately greeted by an enthusiastic Jolli (pronounced Jolly). Jolli is a former bartender who currently spends her evenings lead singing in a classic rock band. If that doesn’t elicit a lot of confidence in her abilities to rid you of years of colon debris, her certification and intimate knowledge of all things poo related should close the deal. Paperwork completed, I found myself covered and in the fetal position on the table.

Now, yes, I can hear all of you colonic haters. You’re right. Wikipedia says colonics are a complete waste of time and high risk, with no proven benefit. I hear you. Now, according to my crunchy organic loving friends, they swear by these things, so I figure if I have jumped out of a perfectly good airplane, my booty can take one for the team. What can only be described as a smaller butt plug is inserted and the fun begins. Water is periodically flushed into your 6-8 feet of colon and, as what can only be described as fossilized debris leaves your body, it occured to me that this wasn’t going to be the traumatic experience I created in my imagination. As a fairly healthy lady who relies only on wine and not fiber for regular elimination, Jolli deemed me a “happy pooper”. I was unaware until that moment that I needed a label, but I smiled nonetheless, as my colon had clearly exceeded my expectations on all fronts. You go random body part, you go.

After 30 minutes of flushing and chatter about the benefits of social media marketing (hey, it’s me- I don’t care what I’m doing, I’m talking about what I love), the process was complete and I headed to the bathroom to ensure it was all removed. It was. No processed food, just healthy eating and lots of water. I agreed enthusiastically, envisioning 35 years of poor eating choices having been sucked out from my guts. I made it until dinner time. Wine doesn’t count as processed food, right? My colon still seems happy…

*Full disclosure: I did not receive any free services and paid in full for my colonic. You, too, can get yours by calling Jolli at 702-798-8001. 


Category: BossBabe

Join the discussion

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *