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BossBabe

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I am the most boring single mom on the planet. This self realization occurred to me at a recent happy hour surrounded by friends, after I shared that I had taken the summer off from dating. We are half way through fall. So, what do you do when you’ve had a few drinks and need to liven up your social calendar? You download Tinder. Yup. I just went there. A modern princess on the search for her Tinderfella.  

Step one didn’t involve birds singing or friendly rats sewing me a beautiful dress like all the Disney movies show. Instead, I consulted the experts (my friends at the table who had secured normal boyfriends, which clearly qualifies them as experts in online dating) and crafted my Tinder profile thanks to every Facebook photograph I’ve ever been tagged in. It was a no to bikini photos (implies I just want to get naked), a yes to gym selfies (shows I work out), and a no to group photos (sensory overload).  Contrary to what you might think, candor is not appreciated in online dating. If it was, my profile would say “Busy, confident executive seeks normal, financially stable single man for daily adoration and encouragement. Must love chihuahua who occasionally bites and enjoy long discussions about My Little Pony with my 6yr old.” That lady sounds awesome, right? Don’t get me started on why Rainbow Dash is a bad ass. Instead, I embraced packaging myself as a small town girl with worldly experience who enjoys baseball games at Yankees Stadium and concerts in Milan. All of that is entirely true and I did include my Instagram and Twitter, so they can check me out further to see where I stand on Ponyland.

My profile launched Thursday at 7PM and I matched liberally with enthusiasm. Single men within 50 miles aged 26-50 watch out! The lessons came hard and fast. Within 24 hours I had over 100 matches, an actual buffet of men. I did as advised by my council of dating experts and waited for the men to message me first. At first I hesitated to unmatch or stop the conversation for fear of being rude (because it matters if I am rude to some random guy online- riiiight), but I got better at determining that the guy living at home with his mama and working as a pizza delivery guy was not what I was looking for and unmatched. Las Vegas is an interesting online dating ecosystem due to the huge number of tourists visiting each weekend, so I quickly determined that being someone’s vacation date wasn’t what I wanted, so I unmatched with men just visiting. I began to learn the Tinder code. “Fun” means casual sex or hook ups. “Drama free” means unrealistic expectations (everyone has drama). “Play date” is not at all what it means with children.

The conversations were formulaic. How are you? (I am fabulous- seriously have you met me? LOL) What do you do? (Magic and fairy dust for brands. Currently writing by my pool. My life does not suck.) What do you do for fun? (Lift heavy shit. Watch Disney movies. Tell my chihuahua how handsome he is. I am one fun girl over here.)

On Friday I had drinks with a lovely CTO I shared a lot in common with. He was a perfect gentleman, we laughed a lot, and have continued to stay in touch. On Saturday I had a date with a handsome professional in the medical field with kind eyes and a soft heart. Another perfect gentleman. I texted my council of experts on Saturday night that I was crushing this Tinder thing- not one dick pic and two great dates.   

Sunday I headed off to the local sports bar with one of my dating expert friends to meet a graphic designer for beers while watching football.  Apparently watching football in a sports bar on Sundays is a must do activity for single people, so I embraced it, let some drunk guys buy me drinks, and GOT STOOD UP. I shit you not. No text, no message, nada. Just a flat no show. Did I text or message him? Absolutely not. My expert friends would sooner have cut off my fingers than allow such message to be sent. Took me 34 years, but I finally had someone stand me up.

It could only get better from there, so I began chatting with a nice media executive who travels a lot for work, but is based in Vegas. He seemed like such a gentleman, flirty but not dirty, smart, witty, ok, yes how much can you really know about someone in 48 hours, but I was actually thinking he would be worthy of a dinner date. Until he sent me an unrequested video of his dick. Take a moment. Yes, he sent me a video of him unzipping his pants and whipping it out. In the middle of the day. On a Wednesday. Who does that?!  

Oh Tinderfella, where art thou?  


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BossBabe

PictureSinging at the Karaoke for the Kure fundraiser in DTLV

Recently I have learned a lot of fun facts that surprised a lot of people who live, work, and play in the downtown Las Vegas community thanks to the recent media coverage about Downtown Project.  Many of the members of the downtown community have been quick to point out the lack of facts in the media, but I found the articles full of facts.  For example: my friend, Jody Sherman, did take his own life.  Now, it wasn’t in February 2013 and it wasn’t Downtown Project’s fault, but I found it fascinating that the reporter was able to commune with the dead to identify that it was his search for happiness that somehow drove not just Jody, but two other downtown community members to take their own lives. Seance must be a new research method for journalists that I was unaware of.   

Commentator after commentator has proclaimed that Tony Hsieh is a charismatic glory hog who claimed to lead the Downtown Project until times got tough.  Personally, I found it fascinating that the shy, down to Earth guy in a Zappos t shirt that I see running from meeting to meeting throughout the neighborhood is really the community Messiah.  Perhaps the reporters were invited to an exclusive worship session that the rest of the community’s residents weren’t invited to? Since Tony clearly controls the way everyone in the 89101 zip code thinks and acts, he must have an evil lair and hairless cat hidden somewhere inside the Ogden, right?  

Now, in all seriousness, I have had friends from around the globe reach out to ask if they should still come to visit, take the tour, and what all of this drama means for Downtown Project.  The truth of Downtown Project is as complex as the truth behind any startup. Just watch the Facebook movie or the tv show “Silicon Valley” to get a taste.  Startup entrepreneurs and investors are on the front lines making change happen in the world. Don’t like your change served up with a side of happiness and strong sense of community? Head over to the Silicon Valley where you can grind it out on some of the world’s most prestigious tech campus’.  Like numbers and wearing a suit? Try the New York startup scene where you’re sure to rub elbows with any number of Wall Street types.  Frankly, if laying off 30 people signals death for a startup, it’s bad news for startups throughout the world.  In the three years that I have been involved with the downtown community, I have never once seen or heard Tony proclaim to be the CEO or even a leader. He is, by the very nature of his investment, a natural leader in the community, but he isn’t the only one and you should take some time to get to know Amy Jo Martin of Digital Royalty and Frank Gruber of Tech Cocktail, both of whom are thought leaders in their respective fields and both of whom are based in the downtown community.  The truth of downtown Las Vegas is that it is a community of people connected by our belief that together we can do more to change the world. You should come visit and you should take the tour. Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to have Kim as your tour guide, who can share insights from the past and the vision for the future. You might be lucky enough to have lunch over at eat and hear Natalie Young’s inspiring story about opening her first restaurant to huge success. While you’re visiting make sure to schedule time to visit the 9th Bridge school where the children are being taught an entrepreneurial curriculum or Turntable Health where they are changing the way health care works. With so much good happening in the downtown Las Vegas community, this salacious drama is just that: drama.


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BossBabe


PictureProud!

I am an expert at being a positive plus sized female, complete with 34 years of experience celebrating when I dropped 15lbs on the Master Cleanse diet that left me too weak to do much of anything and justifying that being a plus sized woman was what I chose to be. It seemed easier to get a tummy tuck, have liposuction, crash diet with HCG injections, or seek out the next big dramatic solution that would lead to a lower number on the scale.  The realization that I have come to after five long months of day to day work is that the most important part of the word “healthy” is HEAL. Our exterior selves are just the physical representation of how we are doing emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  The tighter, strong version of myself that you see today is really showing you that I have become impeccable with my word, keeping the most important promises that I make: the ones I make to myself.  Healing is a long term process that happens day in and day out, with ups and downs, and a commitment to yourself to get better, to feel better, and to do better.  Everyday has required me to show up no matter how badly I wanted to stay in bed.  Everyday has required me to choose a salad instead of In N Out cheeseburgers.  Everyday when I want to quit because I feel like I will never get there I have to choose to fight that much harder.  At the end of it all, getting fit is simple, but it sure ain’t easy.  

Everyone keeps asking how I have been making it happen, so here are all of the dirty details:

SCHEDULE: Old Krista enjoyed sleeping until 8AM and falling asleep by 11PM.  New Krista is in bed by 8PM, asleep by 9PM and popping out of bed in the morning darkness at 5AM to be at the gym for a 5:30AM workout. Every. Single. Day. Don’t miss it: I hated it when I started and I still hate it. HATE. But, it is a necessary evil and I am learning to appreciate watching the sun rise without having to figure out when I will work a workout into my busy day. This way my girls get their quality time with me in the evenings, my days are available for clients, and my body is adjusting. The only family members that seem to be miserable about it are my chihuahuas, who are clearly abused for having to be kicked out of my bed and into their dog beds at 5AM.  


PictureOur entire family ran a 5km!
FOOD: Eating has gotten a lot more simple and complicated at the same time.  Old Krista just took out breakfast and lunch, replacing them with protein shakes, and kept dinner reasonable. New Krista is a lady beast on a mission who has taken clean eating to the next level.  I am eating six small meals per day with 2-3 protein shakes and at least 100 ounces of water. Yes, I pee like a pregnant lady and the first two weeks felt like I was constantly shoving food into my mouth.  My diet is the least excited thing, but I am starting to view food as nutrition instead of enjoyment and I only dreamed of In N Out burgers once this week, which is a huge improvement over the day dreams I initially had of them.  Timing has become a major factor in my diet. Since my goal is to lose fat and gain muscle, I eat carbs before noon and always have a serving of carbs before a workout, followed by a serving of protein right after.  With my early to rise, early to bed schedule I never eat after 6PM.  My diet is super simple.  

5AM: Protein, Carb or Fruit
7AM: Protein, Carb or Fruit
9:30AM: Protein, Carb or Fruit
Noon: Protein and Vegi
2PM: Protein and Vegi
5PM: Protein and Vegi

Food Choices

Proteins: Fish, Chicken, Lean Steak, Lean Ham, Tuna, Salmon, Whole Eggs
Carbs: Brown rice, Wild rice, Wheat pasta, Oatmeal
Vegis: Snow peas, Peppers, Lettuce, Eggplant, String beans, Spinach, Cucumbers
Fruits: Any fruit that is not canned is good 

I usually supplement my protein twice a day with a Visi protein shake and I have a couple of hydrolyzed collagen protein chews throughout the day.  Hunger is never an issue, but I do feel stuffed often because I’m not used to eating this much food.  I am religious about my water consumption, drinking at least 100 ounces per day.  Also, I have cut all alcohol out except for my Friday night glass of wine to celebrate getting through five weight lifting sessions.  I am all kinds of fun over here- no booze, asleep before most toddlers, and snacking on cucumbers.  

TRAINING SESSION

A big part of my mental transition has been from “working out” to “training”.  It was really hard for me to think of myself as an athlete. I come from a family of athletes, but I’ve always been the cheerleader.  Nah, these days I am a lady beast on a mission and quite proud of it.  I am doing a modified version of the Muscle Now program with added cardio.  The program is A, B, C in a five day ongoing rotation.  The first three weeks are 3 sets of 8-11, week four is 4 sets of 4-7, and so on.  There is an entire book you can buy, which I recommend if you are going to dive into this full force.  I have done a huge amount of studying about my body to understand what Allen has been training me on.  The training session is simple and should take you 35-45 minutes to complete.  I add on 30-45 minutes of cardio right after when my muscles are already exhausted to get a boost in my results.  Here are the training sessions:

A. Chest/ Shoulder
*every other week you should switch from dumbbell to barbell

  1. Traditional Flat Bench Press
  2. Income Chest Press
  3. Dumbbell Flys
  4. Military Shoulder Press
  5. Lateral Raise
  6. Shoulder Shrugs

*I like to add in some abs on this day, so I will add:
-3 sets of ball/leg exchange with a large ball
-3 sets of tire rolling extension (which is the best ab exercise in the entire gym)
-3 sets of 60 second plank on the power plate 

B. Back/Triceps

  1. Dead Lifts (Easily my personal favorite- seriously, I like this as much as sex)
  2. Pullovers
  3. Lat Pull Down
  4. Rows
  5. Tricep Extension
  6. Dumbbell Kickbacks
  7. 3 sets on the Roman Chair 

C. Legs/Biceps 

  1. Stiff Leg Deadlifts 
  2. Squats
  3. Stationary Lunges
  4. Seated Heel Raise
  5. Barbell Curl
  6. Dumbbell Curl 

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Start slow.  When I first started working out five months ago I was barely able to stay in good form with 10lb weights. Focus on staying in perfect form with perfect breathing.  It sounds silly, but when you get in the gym and some moron is swinging all over the place, you’ll feel and look like a rockstar.  I am proudest of my deadlifts, which I can now do on a bosu ball (which Allen thinks is dangerous, ridiculous, and pointless- he calls it my Krista circus trick) with 50lb dumbbells and squats are the bane of my gym existence.  I am so top heavy that I think I’m a damn tea kettle tipping myself forward to compensate. It drives me nuts and this week we dialed back my squats to just lifting the bar to focus on form. I hate dialing it back, but Allen was right- I was less tea kettle and more bootylicious.  

RELATIONSHIPS

Most surprising development about this journey? It’s been how supportive and invested all of you have been. From my ex-husband running a 5k with the girls and I to set an example for them of what healthy families do to my friend, Donna, in Calgary, Canada hitting the gym while still breast feeding, I am blown away by how wonderful everyone has been.  I get messages of encouragement from friends in Columbia and around the world, offers to do 5K runs with me from old high school friends when they visit Las Vegas, and I am watching my example inspire the people I care about in my life to live healthier in all aspects.  My appreciation for each of you can’t be expressed in words and I keep your encouragement front of mind every time I want to give up. A friend asked me where I get my energy from and I used to tell people I was just born this way. The truth is that my energy comes from my belief that I can do it and, if I can do it, so can you.  


PictureThis is Stacey at Olympia
BOOTY CLASS AND THE FUTURE

Now that I am five months into this crazy adventure, I am going to be taking it to an even further level and diving into a 15 week competition preparation program with IFBB Pro Stacey Alexander at A Team Fitness starting in November.  Stacey looks like this, but it wasn’t her rockin’ body that won me over. She’s always having so much fun and I had to meet her to verify that, yes, she really is just that nice.  My workout partner, Danica, and I did her booty class this past Tuesday and it was a game changer for me.  We were part of three first time attendees and the girls in the class surprised me because they were all so genuinely kind and encouraging.  As my legs were wobbling (they passed shaking in the first five minutes- BAD plan to do leg day on the same day as booty class- BAD BAD BAD), they cheered me on and kept it positive.  I am enthusiastically proud of the fact that I was the pigeon in a flock of bald eagles.  These ladies are the best of the best and I know that if I keep working hard, I will transform into a bald eagle.  It will mean that I have to do a freakishly dark spray tan and wear the world’s smallest swimsuit on stage in front of a crowd of strangers, but I can’t wait. If these first five months were any indication, the next five are going to be a rocket ship.  Want to join me?