I was listening to Little Red Corvette by Prince at work one day when the corporate world controlled my schedule and I couldn’t help but think about what my “auntie” Norma told me about her younger years in Colorado. She speaks of Prince coming over to her and her husband’s, Van, house to speak with him about some musical business. [Van was a drummer back then and a very big on traveling with all the top musical artists, coming from a long family line of musicians]. Long story short, as Prince and Van are leaving the house to go run some errands, Norma pulls up in a little red corvette that her husband bought her [Yes I know the tabloids say Lisa Coleman’s pink Edsel was the inspiration of the major hit, but the thought was completed by a very good friend with very good taste in cars; or so I was told].
Anyhoo, I came to realize, whether the story is true or false, I have wayyy too many people in my life that know many people in the industries to be struggling this bad. I mean I have tried everything from sending my photos to scouts, to magazines, to modeling agencies, to television shows, to contests, to fashion shows, and the list goes on and on. I know it’s a sign for something knowing all these people who have made it, and most in this case would try to ride the camel until the hundred dollar bill breaks its back; but I’m not like most people, I don’t use people for what they have just because I don’t, but I do find it peculiar that people of high stature [musicians, producers, or just people of the spot light in general] are drawn to me, for whatever reason, just to chat.
It’s a frustrating and difficult world out there for a girl that doesn’t want to conform to the standardized “Look at me because I got my tits for $5k” or the “Omg I dumb myself down so I don’t make men feel inferior to my intelligence”…that’s just not me. It seems like everywhere I turn in this city, girls are trying to become something that they’re not. We all make daily changes to acclimate to our current living situation. Some dye their hair, others rock a $250, 5×7 clutch to a club party just to be apart of the “scene”. Fuck the “scene”, I’m a bargan shopper. In the past couple of months, I’ve met girls with ambition, dreams, and charisma, but, I have also met girls that just conform to a life style that they were never apart of, just to be “recognized”. I met a girl that appeared to be living the high life. She had a Mercedes-Benz SLR, designer shoes/handbags/bathing suit etc., the girl had it going on. But upon speaking with her about her life, she was rather tense. After a few laughs [and a couple of drinks] she opened up to me about how she changed her whole lifestyle to come to Las Vegas and become a model. She spent the rest of her tuition money [around $7,000] to get implants in her breasts because she was told “she wasn’t going to make it ANYWHERE in Vegas without at least a full C – D cup”. Raunchy. She seemed sad when I asked about her implants, explaining that she regrets the choice of getting a full C cup just to conform. “I was happier when I was just plain Jane. I had this dream that I would come out here and work hard to get to where I wanted to be, the ‘high life’. I quit college for this, and now, I’m living in a one bedroom apartment, with a car I can’t afford to keep up, a broken heart, and working a job that barely pays the rent.”
Now, I know nothing comes easy, and achieving a goal doesn’t come overnight, but is it really necessary to chalk someone up, make them believe you could honestly help them reach their goals, and then bail because you changed your mind for that 90 lbs. chick that hasn’t eaten anything since last Tuesday? I know image is everything in the modeling business, but do you really have to go to drastic measures just to get “Closer to your dreams”? I don’t think so. Now I’m not hatin’, nor am I complaining, I’m just voicing my opinion on this stereotype that’s getting rather tiresome. It’s hard for an aspiring model, singer, actress, dancer, etc. to get recognized when there is so much competition, and sleezy competition at that. It’s easy to stand out when everyone around you is 5’10”, double-D, and has a face that Donald Trump himself would lick white chocolate sprinkled with gold off of, but it’s not so easy to gain the respect of the industry without going to drastic measures. Why do we have to conform to a life that suits our needs, but doesn’t suit our life style? Why do we have to drastically change our outer appearance to please those who wouldn’t give us a slight glance. Its driving me nuts that you have to be a flaming ball of lust to get noticed in this town. Where did the natural beauty go? Where did being yourself go wrong? Why do I have to dumb myself down for you to like me? Why do I have to get fake tits just to please YOU? I say…fuck you, I’m going to do what pleases me, and not get those fake yabbos just for your enjoyment, I’m going to do it for me.
My cousin Daryl and I have contemplated this idea for some time. Being young entrepreneurs, we have a creative out look to things and believe that freedom, beauty, truth, and love are the rules of the game. You have the freedom to do what is necessary to acclimate yourself to do what is necessary for survival, but dumbing yourself down and changing everything about yourself is not the way to go; you just appear fake. The truth is what you project yourself onto others because lets face it, fake folks don’t really have too many friends or people that they can say will be there for them in the end. The beauty is what is shown; you don’t have to look like a Sports Illustrated model just to get the guy of your dreams or that “baller status” that everyone is dying to become, you can do that just by being your natural, beautiful, sincere self that everyone who knows you best as. Lastly, love. Loving yourself is a key role in this game of life we play. We all sweat the little things and never really stop to appreciate the things in life that really matter until a disaster strikes us down and “crumbles” our accomplishments. Instead of groveling, pick yourself back up and do something about it. Life is full of disappointments, failures, and struggles; its just how it works and it’s our duty to pick ourselves back up and be aggressive the next time around because if we don’t show an initiative, how will you know if you’ve done something worth while?
My ramblings are of concern of the way the industry is projected on the next generation of shakers, movers, and doers. I think of my niece when it comes to subjects like this because it isn’t instilled in us how the world works, that’s something that we have to find out for ourselves. We don’t have to be a follower on someone else’s path of life to get what we want, make your own path; and if there isn’t a path in sight, get your hiking shoes on, grab some supplies, and start truckin’. We all have to do “me” in some way or another, and I’m not trying to come down on those who have chose to conform to the industry lifestyle, just don’t lose yourself in the process. Re-inventing yourself is cleansing, spiritual, and defining, but conforming for the better good of another and not your own?, now that’s just plain ridiculous.
In thought, be yourself. Be who you wanted to be chillin’ in your room on a Friday night because you were grounded from sneaking out the past week. Be who you dreamt of being when you were 6 years old, watching cartoons and eating Cap’n Crunch contemplating if you should go outside and play freeze tag with that new kid down the street or if you should stay inside and draw up that cartoon character that you formulated while sipping on a Capri Sun and eating Andy’s Salsa Fries. Be the person that you know and love, but don’t bring youself to lower standards just because everyone else is.
Be original. Be you. ‘Nuff Said.